Obtuseness Goes to Eleven
by Demosthenes23
Summary: Post 803. Julia analyzes Murdoch before their wedding.


William entered her office the same way he had when he so surprisingly menaced young Garland. Except this time she was expecting him because she had called this meeting. Something very serious had to be straightened out as soon as possible, before it was too late to rectify the problem and everything was ruined.

"Julia," he greeted with a smile, taking off his homburg and placing it on the rack. "You wanted to see me?"

"Indeed I did, very much so." She turned in her seat and gestured towards the chaise longue. "Please, make yourself comfortable, William."

He gave her a puzzled expression but acquiesced regardless.

Julia folded her hands in her lap and debated how best to go about this. Eventually she decided a direct path was the most sensible, considering how obtuse he was being.

"William, it's come to my attention that you plan on having your landlady cater our wedding." Julia eyed the telephone briefly. "Mrs. Brackenreid recently informed me."

Somewhat dejectedly, "Ah, yes, I was hoping to surprise you."

"You have succeeded and then some."

"Julia?" he asked with another quizzical air.

"Are you trying to sabotage our wedding?" More blank looks followed this accusation.

Exasperated, "William, you have told me _several_ times how much you abhor Mrs. Kitchen's cooking and now you want to serve her food, and _only_ her food to our guests?"

William glanced away, clearly embarrassed. "Well, I...perhaps I was too hasty in vilifying Mrs. Kitchen's good name in the past."

"So you were greatly exaggerating when you said her boiled potatoes went down your throat like stones and her tapioca pudding wasn't fit for anyone, with the exception of perhaps rodents?"

Now he was very uncomfortable, fiddling with the grey fabric of the sofa and not daring to look at her. "That was years ago, Julia, her cooking has considerably improved since then."

"It has, has it? Look me in the eye and say that."

He gulped and made eye contact, involuntarily flinching at her intense gaze.

"_Well_?"

William sighed. "Mrs. Kitchen's cooking has not improved. If anything it's gotten worse. Three weeks ago I chipped a tooth on her boiled potatoes."

_That's what I thought. So why has he deluded himself on this score?_

Julia had to investigate matters further, so she completely adopted her psychiatric personality and moved in closer to her patient. She reached across and took one of his hands and he tentatively shared a glance with her.

"Why was it so important that Mrs. Kitchen cater our wedding?"

"I'm not sure exactly," he admitted. "I simply felt obliged to ask her."

"And why was that?"

He shrugged. "Perhaps...perhaps it was because she has catered to me since my arrival in Toronto."

"I see. There's a semblance of symbolism there, William." He cocked an eyebrow. "In essence, Mrs. Kitchen brought you into this world, and now she will see you out."

"Yes, I suppose," he replied grimly, after a moments rumination.

"Something else about this situation is troubling you. It's plain to see."

To her surprise tears had welled up in his eyes. She squeezed his hand. "You can confide in me completely."

"You'll think me absurd."

"William, you are a great many things, but absurd is not one of them."

_Extremely obtuse, yes, but never absurd._

"All right, Julia," he said with the tiniest of nods. "Mrs. Kitchen...she's come to mean a great deal to me. I almost look upon her as I do my own mother."

"You suffered a traumatic lose at a very young age. It's only natural you would look for a substitute wherever you could."

He nodded absentmindedly. "Yes, I suppose that is why I wanted to stay in the boarding house after we were married." Julia gaped in astonishment. This level of obtuseness rivalled that of pyramids on the Canadian shield! William looked at her sheepishly. "After Mrs. Kitchen set me straight, you were never meant to find out...but I thought I might as well tell you the whole of my foolishness." Then he grinned. "Oh and I was planning to build us a house. That is why I kept dismissing your neighbourhood suggestions."

"My goodness!" she finally managed with a little chuckle. "It appears you had all manner of fancy in your head!"

"Indeed," he agreed, clearly relieved at unburdening himself.

Julia sat down beside him. "You see, William, this is precisely why it is necessary for us to communicate on a more regular basis. I understand that you wanted to surprise me, and indeed you did, but something this important really should have been discussed ages ago." She patted his hand. "Still that was a very sweet gesture and I am touched."

"You are?" he said with a small smile.

"Of course, William. How many men nowadays undertake the construction of their family home? Very few I'd wager."

_In the city. _

Eagerly, "Are you saying you'd still like me to build our home?"

"That depends, William...are your lumberjack skills still intact?"

_Are you still adept at handling wood?_

"I believe so."

"Then I may consider it."

_Though I have no idea how you will ever find the time._

He beamed at her and they shared a chaste kiss.

"In the meantime, since we're clearly not going to be living in your _bachelor_ abode after we wed," he gave her another sheepish grin, "and since we don't have enough time to go house hunting at this point, we need to decide on a temporary alternative. Might I suggest my current residence?"

"All right," he said after much hesitation.

"Is something wrong with my house?"

"No, Julia, it's simply that it strikes me as odd."

"Odd how?"

He didn't respond.

Observing him closely, "This hesitation of yours wouldn't have anything to do with certain archaic notions about the man providing completely for his _helpless_ wife, would it?"

William squirmed a bit and didn't look at her. Rather than get angry she decided to make him even more uncomfortable. She touched his lapels. "You had better get used to me buying you all manner of expensive things, detective, it will surely happen frequently. And I expect you to use these things and not hide them away. I want the whole station house to know how much I care for you."

It amused her exceedingly how tormented he was at this prospect, as if she had suggested the most heinous forms of torture against puppies.

"Now then, I have several cases I need to attend to before our wedding, so I really should ask you to leave or I will have no hope of completing them in time."

He started to get up but she pulled him back down. William looked at her enquiringly. "I said, I _should..._not _must_."

They shared a knowing smile.

* * *

><p><strong>Gah! There's still over a week to go!<br>**


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